JoceeeTooFresh.

ready to go steady.[: 

with someone who’s willing to take the chance, and make it work.

i’m not scared to fall in love anymore <3333

i haven’t blogged in a while,

&& i really don’t think i wanna leave $D,

but Okinawa seems like a nice place to be right now.

GOSHHHH, why can’t i just live in both places? Life would be sooo much easier.

myspace won’t let me read my messages !!!! ughhhh.

so yeah i don’t think that i’m gonna be blogging for a while, a lots been going on. i haven’t been on in almost a week, and my tumblarity went down from 21 to 0. D; haha. but just hit me up on myspace and facebook and once i get things straightened out again, i’ll be back using tumblr. ADiOS! [[;

so if you didn’t know, my Grandpa is in the hospital. we still don’t know if he is gonna make it or not. i feel helpless over here. i mean, we are all the way across the world, there’s nothing we can do. i know i wanted to go back home to the states, but this shouldn’t of had to be the reason. 

i don’t know if i can handle this. i’ve been tryna be strong throughout this whole thing, just tryna stay hopeful, ya’know? but then i look at my mom, and she just sits here and cries. and i feel like i can’t do anything to help her. she is losing her dad. that must be hard. don’t think that i’m all happy, cuuz im not. i just choose not to think about the “worst case scenario” i wanna choose to believe that he will be ohkay, even though thats just a possibility.

i can’t even imagine how everyone else back home feels. i mean, my grandma is losing it, she can’t even think straight or calm down, she can’t handle this right now. and without my grandpa, i dont think she could go through this. and joy, she’s only eleven and she has to go through this. when we used to stay up all night talking, she would say her biggest fear was her dad dying. and she’s so young, she still needs her dad in her life. and the TWiNS. omg, they are only eight years old. they need their dad there to get them through growing up. i would be devastated if i was any of them. everyone is there at the hospital,  freaking out. everyone is crying, and i keep feeling helpless.

everytime i hear the phone ring, im scared. i get scared when my mom answers the phone, cuuz it would be hard to see her so hurt if something bad happened to him while we were still stuck here. she keeps praying for him to at least wait for us to get there. she cries, and jadalynn cries. it hurts cuuz shes soo little, and so hurt. and here i am, not crying at all, blogging and going on the internet. i feel like a bad person. but really i am just tryna keep my mind offa it, otherwise i think i’d go crazy. 

please pray for my grandpa. D;

8:00- i woke up pretty late, so i couldn’t take the Greenline. i wasn’t gonna go to cheer though, i was gonna chill with friends, but i hadda pretend that i was going to cheer cuuz my mom decided she was gonna drive me all the way to Foster. so i had to wear like a tank top and shorts to pretend i was gonna work out HA.

9:00- i guess my mom was speeding, so we got pulled over. that was the funniest thing ever! except the cops fuckin’ took FOREVER, liek they pulled us over and didn’t go up to our car till like, ten minutes after. and then, it took them like, twenty minutes to give us bak my mom’s drivers liscence and let us go. right after, my daddy called from Australia. oh shiet, he couldn’t believe my mom got a ticket.

10:00- i walked all the way to the library from the gym, its not THAT far, but still it was FUCKiN HOT. so yeah, i was on myspace, & talking to Meridian & Frankie.. and then Shauna came.(: and we talked alot, about all this shit, it was pretty funny.

11:00- we went on the greenline, and we were talkin’ bout CERTAiN things lol, and this marine guy asked us where we were from. he thought we were both from Cali cuuz he said we were saying “LiKE” about a million times lol. we went to the food court and right when we were talking about Anthony he comes outta nowhere LOL. and we walked around the PX for like, forever and yeahh.. it was cool i guess.

12:00- i hadda catch the 12:30 Greenline with Anthony [bitch] =P and yeah, MiKEY was being a retard. he called me and was telling me this stuff. then he brought up Anthony. and he wanted to tell Anthony certain things that i didn’t want him to know haha. because i KNOW its not gonna change ANYTHiNG, even if he does know. so yeah. but Mikey wouldn’t let it go. he kept calling me about it and was tryna tell Anthony but i wouldn’t let him. and Anthony knew we were talking bout him HAHA.

1:00- i’ve been stuck here at the library on Courtney because i refuse to go home LOL. i don’t feel like dealing with my Bi-Polar Filipino mom right now. so yeah. just Blogging, and Myspace-ing, and IM-ing.

LATERRRR- Bowling Alley on Foster with the Faam from the PI. and Shauna is gonna be there too, lol. so yeah. i’m bored.